Holiday 2012 Madness Part 1

This is the day that the holiday season of 2012 started to go stir crazy.  Before that it was just regular crazy.

It started with Halloween, or rather the Halloween that we didn't have.  On Monday October 29, 2012 Hurricane Sandy made her way to us on the south shore of Long Island.  Thankfully our home was spared any damage, our in-laws and neighbors as well.  However - 2 doors down from us our neighbors mighty oak tree was uprooted and fell directly into the street. Thank God it fell that way and nobody's roof was damaged on this block.  I wasn't thanking God however when the tree took our power lines with it.

Suddenly we were without power, hot water, and heat. With all faith in humanity we waited for the power company to come out and fix us. And we waited.  And we froze. We used our Bar-b-Que grill as much as we could but it was too cold to stand out there and cook.  I was aware that other neighbors and 'hoods were without power as well but I needed to worry about us.  Schools were closed, work was understanding, but we needed to get fixed.  In total we lost about 2 weeks between power being out, cable being out, in-laws staying with us because their power was out.

We never quite made up for lost time after that.  We have tried to in many ways, but the fact is time is going by so quickly that you can't make up for lost time.  Once time is gone, it's gone. Lessons learned from all the madness - 1) we need a generator at home.  It's now December 27 and I'm still waiting for my husband to get that together.  2) Family friends are priceless.  The showers and electricity and news they provided were heaven sent gifts.  3) Do not open Halloween candy before October 31 or you will eat it even in the dark and in the cold. 

The very good part of this ordeal was that T1 and I had the foresight for me to drive into NYC and bring her home before the storm.  Not just for safety but also because she was flying out to the Marine Corps Ball to be with T1F.  It was a perfect plan because the City was in worse shape in may ways.  They had flooded subways, streets with puddles that looked like small ponds and no way to drive in and no way to drive out the first couple of days.

By the time her flight was scheduled to leave, she was able to get on the plane and fly to her true love, and true warmth, hot water and hot food.  They also really enjoyed the ball.

Tick-Tock

Somehow it is already the middle of May.  This is both good news and bad news.

The good news is that it means we are finally taking our first trip to Bermuda!  We had purchased a pretty awesome deal from Groupon.  In case I haven't mentioned it before, I am a big fan of Groupon.  I haven't had anything go wrong with any Groupon that I've even purchased or used.

This was our first time buying a 'Groupon Getaway' and what we did learn was that before you buy the hotel or accommodations from Groupon, check the airfare for that destination.  The airline industry  makes it very hard to find reasonable prices to any place and geez, the amount of fees and taxes they add to the ticket price is hurtful to a family on a budget.

From our location in New York the flight is about a 2hr 20min trip.  For somebody like me who is extremely claustrophobic,which will no doubt be worsened by flying over the ocean the entire time, this is a pretty decent flying time and hopefully I will have enough time for my meds to kick-in before we descent.  I don't do very well on the decent.

My prize will be Bermuda.  I will come back with a couple of pictures to share.

As for the bad news, I'm going to be in Bermuda in less than 24 hours and I can't think of anything bad right  now.

(This is what I hope I find when I get there.)

(this is a picture I found at http://interfacelift.com/wallpaper/downloads/downloads)

Long Time No Post

What seems like such a long time ago, I decided to start a blog so that I could get some memories posted and maybe even get some mild venting done.

Who would have thought that trying to find 10 or 20 minutes a week to write something would be so hard to come by?  My goal was one post a week and I can plainly see that I haven't hit that mark in a long time.

I wanted to write a post about how one day I just decided to break-up with Facebook.  It's been a good decision.

I had a little story about finally being given the secret family recipe from my mother-in-law to make her Pizza Rustica pie for Easter.  I rocked it.

I finally got to see my San Francisco Giants play baseball out here. It was against the NY Mets and the family all had a great time on a gorgeous weather day.  They lost that day in a very exciting 9th inning but they won 2 more games before the series was over.

We had a day out at the Central Park zoo and while the animals weren't plentiful, the Hasidic Jewish families were out in full force.  Coming from a San Francisco upbringing it was quite a site for me to see.

T1 and T1F surprised us all by showing up on our doorstep last week.  He had surprised her last weekend in the city and they did a very good job surprising us the next day.

Lots of work stuff going on.  Too much to tell.  But there is some exciting stuff on the horizon.  I hope to find more time to write about it.

He Ain't Heavy - He's my Brother

I have been blessed to have the 3 brothers that I have.  And one sister.  Being part of a divorced family there are usually some explanations that I have to provide about whom is who and whom I grew up with and this is about B1.

B1 is only 13 months older than I am.  In our early years we had each other through everything and we were close, tight, thick as thieves.  As very small kids, maybe 2 & 3, my mother and father divorced.  All we knew was that we didn't live with our father anymore.  Later on, my mother would remarry and we gained a new brother (B2).  While B2 had a different father, we swore we would never call B2 a 'half' or a 'step.'  (Later when my father would remarry and B3 and S1 were born, we felt the same way. Still do.  Always will.)

In 2nd grade, I was so smart that I skipped it and joined my brother in 3rd grade.  I was so happy. From then on, we had a lot of the same friends, knew all of the same people and ran in the same circles.  We never really had terrible fights.  

In our teen years we went to concerts together; crazy rock & roll shows.  Some of my favorite memories were standing in line waiting to see AC/DC, Tom Petty, Black Sabbath.  It was what we saved our money for and when B1 started working, he was always so generous in the discounts he would give me on the price of a ticket.

Then - and I remember this like it was yesterday - he went to the Navy.  I was alone without my big brother for the first time.  I missed him dearly.  We wrote each other often.  When he graduated boot camp I beamed with pride as much as my mom and just like her, I cried tears of joy to finally see him.

Many years later, with a boatload of memories we still have, we began to settle into our own lives.  Mine with my dear boyfriend who is now my dear husband and B1 with a new girl.  She seemed nice enough but there was something.  A small something that I couldn't quite put my finger on was poking me inside.  Slowly I saw my dear brother start to slip away.  He spent less time with us, less calls to the house, less visits.  As I prepared to leave San Francisco I knew that "she" had him and we lost him.  

Lots of years later there were signs of a comeback.  A couple of letters.  A phone call here and there.  A fresh start for him.  She was in the background.  Still there but no longer the presence she was before.  A new career for him sent him driving across America and when he gets back to home base he stays with our mom in Northern California.  I am thrilled for my mother to get her oldest son back.

We now have phone calls together. Some text messaging.  We even Facebooked for a while (Facebook is a whole different post).  

My father recently had a reunion with B1.  They had spoken even less in the past years than I had.  My father was over the moon to find out my brother was heading straight to his town on a Friday, my birthday to be exact. They sent me the picture you see above.  I got a little choked up when I saw it.  A combination of joy for both my father and my brother.  

And a slight tinge of envy.  Because even after all this time and our reunion of being back in each other life, B1 and I haven't seen each other in a lot of years.

Flags at Half-Staff

On Monday April 2, I took T2 to school and as I drove into the parking lot, I immediately noticed that the American flag was flying at half-staff. 

I first wondered if I had missed anything on the news and realized that I actually hadn't watched the news in quite a while so there wasn't much chance I knew what was going on in the world.

When I walked T2 into the hallway I asked the hall monitor if she knew why the flag had been lowered.  Nope. Not a clue.  I asked a parent if they knew what it was about and again the answer was no.

I left school and headed to the Post Office for a book of stamps.  As soon as I drove into the parking lot, I saw the flag at half-staff again.  So now I'm thinking that some high ranking guy in our lousy government had maybe died and I knew nothing about it. Obama? Cheney (finally)? 


I asked the Postal clerks what the flag at half-staff was about and neither one of them knew.  What the heck?


Just then one of the managers came up front and I asked him what was going on.  He said he had a memo about it and he would bring it to me.  Ok, a memo is good.  I needed to know at this point.  


This is what I read:

April 2, 2012 - New York Governor Cuomo has directed that flags on state buildings be lowered to half-staff from sunrise to sunset on Monday, April 2, 2012 in honor of Staff Sergeant William R. Wilson III of Getzville, NY who died in Paktika province, Afghanistan on March 26, 2012.


Sigh.  Another American soldier lost. Nobody more deserving of a flag at half-staff.

Goodbye First Tooth -

On Thursday March 29, 2012, my baby girl, whom we know as T2, lost her first baby tooth.

The first thing that came to my mind was "Geez, after all that work for that tooth to
cut and come in," and all the turmoil  we went through for her to keep her teeth clean and brushed ~
just like that, one baby tooth down.

The way it played out I actually ended up pulling it.  Or as my Hubs says, "yanking it out."  Which is just ridiculous.

She came home from school and said it was bothering her. Her older sister T1 said "T2, mommy pulled all my teeth out. It doesn't hurt. Let's do it."  T2 agreed and we grabbed some dental floss, tried a few times to get the lasso around it and once secured, one small yank and it was out.  It was so close to coming out that it actually flew onto the floor.  Luckily we got it for our dog did.

The tooth fairy was very generous by giving her 5 gold, Sacagawea dollars.  I was a quick thinker in telling her that she only does that for the first time.

I guess this is a milestone.  The beginning of T2 leaving the baby things behind.  Growing up so to say.  And I just can't believe it's happening already.

Where is the time going?

Somehow we are already half way into March.  Spring is literally right around the corner.  As anybody who knows me will agree, I am a happier person once Winter starts to become a memory.  I am that person that has an immediate mood shift when the clocks change and "spring forward."  (I might be a little grumpy off because of the time change but it's short lived).   I love to leave work and see that there is still daylight out there.  Plus I just love to leave work.

But all of this has just happened so quickly.  The beginning of the month was my birthday.  And while my age remains 40-something, I still realize in other ways that another year has gone by.  Not too long after my birthday my mother has a birthday.  Wow Mom, you're really that old now?  Another measure of proof that my 40-somethingness won't last much longer.

Then it's T1's birthday.  This year was hard because she was away at school and wouldn't be home until the weekend for us to officially celebrate.  It's the first time she was away.  The first time I didn't get to sneak in her room at the exact time of her birth and give her a hug.  But the times being what they are, we did get to speak and she was nice enough to sound as she actually enjoyed the call at 10:23 pm.  The end of the month will bring more birthdays on my inlaws side of the family.  

Then Bam! We're in April.  T1 has spring break the first week of April and T2 has the second.  I think it's a little unfair they're not better coordinated.  The end of April will be T1F's graduation from his Marine Schooling and God willing, a trip home that T1's heart could really use.   

I don't like to wish time away.  I want to enjoy every day because I really believe we should make everyday count.  But I admit that I am looking forward to the official start of Spring.  And the "kids" being home from school.  

In the meantime, I'm thankful for good weather, the first signs of Spring and leaving Old Man Winter behind.  All of these are good signs of passing time.

A beautiful almost Spring sky with a perfectly beautiful American flag.

Exhaustion.

This past week has been exhausting and I'm not sure that I have anything to show for it.

T2 had the week off for Winter Recess.  This appears to be a NorthEast thing because growing up in San Francisco, we only had the Christmas week off, then Easter.  I think Winter Recess is basically just time to play in the snow or if you're lucky, fly somewhere where there is no snow. We didn't have much of the stuff here this winter so there was no playing.

Hubs and I decided to head into NYC to take T2 to the Natural History museum.  He hadn't been there since he was a child, and I haven't been there since moving to New York so we were all very excited.

The museum did not disappoint.  We saw a fabulous Planetarium show, incredible animal dioramas, the very famous dinosaur skeleton and so much more.  We were fascinated by every new exhibit we saw, every new hall we turned into, and each floor amazed us with the displays. There was so much to do and see that we will need a second trip to finish up all of the exhibits we didn't get to.  We were all pretty tuckered out at the end.

After our visit, we needed to get over to the East Side to finally see T1 for the first time since her engagement to T1F. We had coordinated our schedules so that we would meet her when she arrived from the airport.  I had just enough time to buy her a bouquet of flowers and we had a couple of small gifts from home to bring her.  I 'm not sure I can convert how happy I was, how my heart swelled to see how happy she was!  It helped to soften the blow in my heart about her getting married one day and leaving me permanently.

Later in the week, Hubs began some volunteer driving work that he does annually which took him away from home for the better part of the weekend and left me with some awesome quality time with T2.  At the same time though, I was left running the show by myself which left me bone tired by the end of each day.

There was the usual grocery shopping (but never having anything for dinner.)  I discovered that I could get tired of cereal for dinner last week.  There was the play-date that did't really work out. The endless laundry. Even tho Hubs was gone most of the waking hours, the laundry clued me in that he had in fact come and gone.

Thankfully school started this week and I saw the happy faces of many parents, mine included.  I think at one point I saw a happy look on T2's face as well.

All this exhaustion made me realize the following:

1. There is so much to do in NYC that I need to take advantage of more often
2. The actual housework doesn't change when Hubs is gone, just the quantity

This week will finish out with my birthday.  Hubs will be gone again but I know he'll make it up to me.  As a birthday gift to myself, there will be no housework, no chores.  No cereal for dinner either.

All About Thing 1

Thing 1 was born at just the right time in my life. It was my late 20s, things weren't that great in my marriage and our good Lord knew she was going to be the best thing in my life for a long, long time.

Labor was long at 19+ hours.  Delivery was quicker which I believe is because she only weighed 5 lbs, 9 oz.  I fell in love with her instantly and my whole world became her.  I became that mother moose that you see on animal shows that will stomp out any harm that even tries to come her way.  I adopted the motto of 'do what you want to me, but don't mess with my kid.'  I still feel that way about her.

I've always said that T1 kept me from going under when it became time to leave that marriage.  It was difficult, acrimonious, and at times it seemed like it might've been easier to let "him" win because I couldn't summon up the strength to keep going.  But I knew in my heart that both T1 and I needed better:  we needed happier, we needed love, we needed out.

It turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.  Life became all about her & I.  We were thick as thieves, so much alike, and we did everything together.  I never minded that my social life was non-existent; that any interaction with my friends always included her.  When my husband and I were courting (which is an entirely new story deserving of it's own post), T1 was always there.  We were a package a deal.  Hubs never minded.

Through the years as she grew, I grew also.  I grew to accept that she was growing; that she would have friends and do things with her friends; that she would form her own likes and dislikes. The beauty was in her always coming home to me. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Her teenage years were just that - teenage years.  In my opinion they started a little later that I expected but it was a whole new world of alternating between wanting to protect her so bad and wanting to strangle her so many times.  She is a lot like me.  She knows what she likes and she knows what she doesn't.  She it true to herself and I couldn't be prouder.

T1 had the 1st boyfriend that broke her heart.  I picked up the pieces with her and we moved on. Later in high school, she met Him.  Him who was the geek in Science class.  Him who had his eye on her a long time ago but she never noticed.  Him who asked her to be 'his' the day after Valentine's Day.  Maybe because the 14th was just too cliche.'  They were friends first and that mattered a lot.

They continued on through the rest of the school year.  They looked like a Hollywood glamour couple at the Junior prom.  They were both tall and gorgeous.  Dark hair and bright smiles.  Senior year came.  His calling was the Marine Corps.  Hers was college.  My heart broke at the thought of what was coming.  I asked her if she should end the relationship before he leaves.  She said no.  No way.  They looked like High School royalty at the Senior prom.  My heart swelled and broke at the same time.  Recruit training was coming up.  They needed to pack in all the memories that they could.

He left. She cried. She fell apart and I cried with her.  Gone were the daily conversations and text messages.  She held strong and when that first letter came almost 3 weeks later, she came back to herself.  She loved him and was dedicated to their relationship.  In my heart I applauded her. She was a great country music song coming to life.  Stand by your Man and all that great stuff.

October 2011.  His graduation from Recruit Training (boot camp is a term not used by the Corps). We took a long road trip to see him with his mom and siblings.  What great people they turned out to be.  I couldn't contain my tears seeing him with his Dad, his Mom, then with Her.  It was too much for my heart to take in.  I tried to take pictures through the tears.  They needed these memories on "film."
He took the time to hug me and thank me for everything.  He had me hooked.

The decision to stay together while he did his 4 years in the Corps and she did her 4 years in College was made.  I admired their loyalty and would do what I could to support them.

An early birthday gift to her to fly down and visit him.  I was nervous that she was going alone. Her first solo trip and my nerves were frazzled.  How could that little girl of mine actually get out of New York without me there to help?  Well maybe I did something right because she made it. He was waiting for her.  I could rest that night.

Until the call came.  Mom, guess what just happened?  Honey, you ok?  Mom he proposed marriage! Joy, excitement, tears of happiness, tears of sadness. How did she grow up that quickly before my eyes?

She said yes.  He will now be referred to as T1F. Thing 1's Fiance.

Valentine's Day - 2012

I'm not writing this post just because it's February 14. But it is and that means today is Valentine's Day. 

For me it means I'm somewhere between "Honey don't spend any money buying me roses" and sitting at work wondering why, if I'm not getting flowers, why not a lunch invitation?  Before we start looking at possible reasons for the non-invitation let me just say that Hubs and I work at the same place and said place has a cafeteria.  Lunch would not be an inconvenience based on the logistics.

Maybe I'll have a $7.99 set of flowers from the market when I get home tonite.  In the spirit of being completely honest, I would love to go home, find the $7.99 bouquet, eat a slice of Pizza with Hubs and Thing 2 and go to sleep.  Not bed.  Sleep.

Thing 1 is at college and it's our first Valentine's day being apart.  She was the original person that taught me unconditional love and it's sad to me that she's not here to have a slice of pizza with us.  Her boyfriend is in Florida in the Marines so Thing 1 basically has nobody around her for this "Love" day.  Believe me I'm trying not to dwell on all that sadness.  She does get to fly out on Friday to see BF for a long weekend ~ so all's well that ends well.

Hubs just texted me to tell me he's going to gym.  I guess I'll grab my sandwich (that he made) and stop waiting for a lunch invitation and I'll see him at home later.

Listen, I may be a little nuts, but I'm lucid enough to be thankful for my Dear Hubs even if we never lunch together.  I'm one of the lucky ones this Valentine's Day.

Individual Fruit Pizza for our Just Dessert celebration at work.

Superbowl Sunday 2012

Today is Super Bowl number 46. 


In the spirit of always being honest in this blog, I admit that I actually don't care much about the Super Bowl this year.  Living here in New York that is a blasphemous statement since the New York Giants are playing against the New England Patriots in a rivalry that runs deep.


I am not a New Yorker by birth.  I transplanted myself here almost 9 years ago.
I am a die hard, native San Franciscan. My first football love was the San Francisco 49ers.
It still is and always will be.  I can't seem to root for a NY team with any type of honesty.


I have the 49er "Glory Years" of the 1980s under my belt with 4 Super Bowl wins.  
There was a bonus win in the 90's for a total of 5 Super Bowl wins.
My team hasn't been that good in a very long time. This year was so close.  1 lousy
field goal made by the opposing team in the playoffs and they were out. 


I am very proud of the team and their accomplishments this year.  I loved watching whatever game the East Coast channels would play since most years the games are rarely televised.  I loved whatever scenery they would show us. I believe that most of us who have departed the Bay Area are nostalgic for most things San Francisco, especially scenery.  We love to say "I've been there," or "I know that place."  I loved boasting my San Francisco-ness to anybody who would listen. 


It takes a real football fan to continue loving their team during the rough years of not winning.
This year paid off for me.  Even though my team is not playing in the Super Bowl, this Native San Franciscan is wearing her 49ers sweatshirt with love & pride.  And a bit of nostalgia.

Back to "Normal"

Yesterday we took Thing 1 back to college.  Today I miss her terribly.


I picked T1 up on December 22 when school closed for the Christmas break.  In my mind it was going to be a fabulous Christmas season with her home making our family of 4 complete for the Holidays.


It didn't exactly start out that way.


T1's boyfriend is in the USMC and he was able to be home for the Christmas. I was thrilled for the two of them to be together.  Since T1BF joined the core, the goodbye's between them have been heartbreaking. We gave T1 complete free reign to come and go all she wanted before T1BF had to leave back to the Core on New Year's Eve morning.


After another tearful goodbye, I got my first born back for the rest of her break.  However it appeared that she left her good mood behind somewhere.  I couldn't believe that she wasn't thrilled to be with us! I waited all through Christmas week to get her back and she'd rather not be with us??


We had a screaming match long talk and afterwards things seemed to have settled into a good routine.  We had a great 3 weeks.  She was a stellar big sister to T2 and she was a great help around the house. Then the day came to her back.  It's a little quieter without her.  We'll go through less food.  We'll eat out less often.


I miss her. A lot.

T1 and T2 is one of those moments that actually make my heart cry

Indoor Voice

I have been blessed with 2 beautiful daughters that I will affectionately refer to as Thing 1 and Thing 2 (T1 & T2).


There is a 12 year age gap between my girls.  T1 is in her first semester of college and she is a lot like me.  We like to wake up quiet, we're very comfortable with our own company, we enjoy companionable silence when we hang out together.


T2 is a entirely different person.  She is loud. She is boisterous.  She does not have an Indoor Voice. She is in 1st grade. 


We have looked for it.  I thought she would have been born with it.  I've tried bribing her to come up with one.  I've even tried using poor health to drum up a sympathetic Indoor Voice ("Baby girl Mommy has a crushing headache can you please see if there's an Indoor Voice that you can use?")  


Nope. Nothing.


T2 is a product of Montessori preschool and fiercely independent.  You can call her highly spirited. T2 wakes up ready to go and ready to talk about anything. I love her so much that it breaks my heart.  


I just wish we could find, or buy, or grow, or even download an Indoor Voice for her.

After All These Years...

Yesterday morning was a very cold one here on Long Island.  It was one of those days where you don't really want to leave the house or walk around with wet hair after your shower. 


Before I could get to the blowdryer to dry my hair, I went to the front window so that I could dread the weather again and having to go out.  Across the street I see an ambulance at my neighbors house.  I know they are there to pick up Mr. L.  Earlier last year, Mr. L had a stroke and after some time in the hospital recovering and doing rehab, he was able to come home to his wife of 50 years.


You could see the toll all of this had taken on Mrs. L over the past year.  Even though it was Mr. L who had been sick, Mrs. L carried the burden on caring for him, the house, the garbage and recycling, and the impeccable lawn that was Mr. L's favorite pastime.  Short of trimming his lawn with a pair of scissors, we see him outdoors everyday the weather allowed, cutting, trimming, planting, picking up every autumn leaf.


Since his stroke, Mrs. L had to hire a landscaper to keep up with it all.  Luckily thus far we haven't had any snow that she needed to contend with.  A few of us neighbors helped where we could, but we never wanted to make either of them feel helpless.


When I looked out the window, and without knowing how bad Mr. L was, it took seconds for me to feel  sad for Mrs. L.  She has endured so much while sticking to her vows of "in sickness and in health." I know and I'm sure she knows that the eventual end result will be "till death did they part." This made me think about the heartbreak you end up with when your spouse leaves this world.


Living your day to day lives together; the home, the kids, every single memory you make, together, richer, poorer, good time & bad, vacations, and the years of no vacation;  it all ends one day and the person you've lived with longer than you were alone, is gone.  It breaks my heart today and for the future. 


And for Mrs. L.

My First Blog Entry

Sometimes starting something is the harder than the actual task itself.  That is a lesson I’ve learned over the years and one I keep re-learning over and again.  But I'm here - finally.

I’m starting this blog so that I can have a personal space to say a few things, share a few opinions and anything else that comes to mind. I’m not willing to let go of my secrets yet so in the meantime this blog will consist of mild content.

A bit about me.  I am a San Francisco native learning to call Long Island, New York home.  I have a great family that I love more than life itself and they basically drive me stark raving nuts everyday of my life.  Multiple times a day.