Exhaustion.

This past week has been exhausting and I'm not sure that I have anything to show for it.

T2 had the week off for Winter Recess.  This appears to be a NorthEast thing because growing up in San Francisco, we only had the Christmas week off, then Easter.  I think Winter Recess is basically just time to play in the snow or if you're lucky, fly somewhere where there is no snow. We didn't have much of the stuff here this winter so there was no playing.

Hubs and I decided to head into NYC to take T2 to the Natural History museum.  He hadn't been there since he was a child, and I haven't been there since moving to New York so we were all very excited.

The museum did not disappoint.  We saw a fabulous Planetarium show, incredible animal dioramas, the very famous dinosaur skeleton and so much more.  We were fascinated by every new exhibit we saw, every new hall we turned into, and each floor amazed us with the displays. There was so much to do and see that we will need a second trip to finish up all of the exhibits we didn't get to.  We were all pretty tuckered out at the end.

After our visit, we needed to get over to the East Side to finally see T1 for the first time since her engagement to T1F. We had coordinated our schedules so that we would meet her when she arrived from the airport.  I had just enough time to buy her a bouquet of flowers and we had a couple of small gifts from home to bring her.  I 'm not sure I can convert how happy I was, how my heart swelled to see how happy she was!  It helped to soften the blow in my heart about her getting married one day and leaving me permanently.

Later in the week, Hubs began some volunteer driving work that he does annually which took him away from home for the better part of the weekend and left me with some awesome quality time with T2.  At the same time though, I was left running the show by myself which left me bone tired by the end of each day.

There was the usual grocery shopping (but never having anything for dinner.)  I discovered that I could get tired of cereal for dinner last week.  There was the play-date that did't really work out. The endless laundry. Even tho Hubs was gone most of the waking hours, the laundry clued me in that he had in fact come and gone.

Thankfully school started this week and I saw the happy faces of many parents, mine included.  I think at one point I saw a happy look on T2's face as well.

All this exhaustion made me realize the following:

1. There is so much to do in NYC that I need to take advantage of more often
2. The actual housework doesn't change when Hubs is gone, just the quantity

This week will finish out with my birthday.  Hubs will be gone again but I know he'll make it up to me.  As a birthday gift to myself, there will be no housework, no chores.  No cereal for dinner either.

All About Thing 1

Thing 1 was born at just the right time in my life. It was my late 20s, things weren't that great in my marriage and our good Lord knew she was going to be the best thing in my life for a long, long time.

Labor was long at 19+ hours.  Delivery was quicker which I believe is because she only weighed 5 lbs, 9 oz.  I fell in love with her instantly and my whole world became her.  I became that mother moose that you see on animal shows that will stomp out any harm that even tries to come her way.  I adopted the motto of 'do what you want to me, but don't mess with my kid.'  I still feel that way about her.

I've always said that T1 kept me from going under when it became time to leave that marriage.  It was difficult, acrimonious, and at times it seemed like it might've been easier to let "him" win because I couldn't summon up the strength to keep going.  But I knew in my heart that both T1 and I needed better:  we needed happier, we needed love, we needed out.

It turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.  Life became all about her & I.  We were thick as thieves, so much alike, and we did everything together.  I never minded that my social life was non-existent; that any interaction with my friends always included her.  When my husband and I were courting (which is an entirely new story deserving of it's own post), T1 was always there.  We were a package a deal.  Hubs never minded.

Through the years as she grew, I grew also.  I grew to accept that she was growing; that she would have friends and do things with her friends; that she would form her own likes and dislikes. The beauty was in her always coming home to me. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Her teenage years were just that - teenage years.  In my opinion they started a little later that I expected but it was a whole new world of alternating between wanting to protect her so bad and wanting to strangle her so many times.  She is a lot like me.  She knows what she likes and she knows what she doesn't.  She it true to herself and I couldn't be prouder.

T1 had the 1st boyfriend that broke her heart.  I picked up the pieces with her and we moved on. Later in high school, she met Him.  Him who was the geek in Science class.  Him who had his eye on her a long time ago but she never noticed.  Him who asked her to be 'his' the day after Valentine's Day.  Maybe because the 14th was just too cliche.'  They were friends first and that mattered a lot.

They continued on through the rest of the school year.  They looked like a Hollywood glamour couple at the Junior prom.  They were both tall and gorgeous.  Dark hair and bright smiles.  Senior year came.  His calling was the Marine Corps.  Hers was college.  My heart broke at the thought of what was coming.  I asked her if she should end the relationship before he leaves.  She said no.  No way.  They looked like High School royalty at the Senior prom.  My heart swelled and broke at the same time.  Recruit training was coming up.  They needed to pack in all the memories that they could.

He left. She cried. She fell apart and I cried with her.  Gone were the daily conversations and text messages.  She held strong and when that first letter came almost 3 weeks later, she came back to herself.  She loved him and was dedicated to their relationship.  In my heart I applauded her. She was a great country music song coming to life.  Stand by your Man and all that great stuff.

October 2011.  His graduation from Recruit Training (boot camp is a term not used by the Corps). We took a long road trip to see him with his mom and siblings.  What great people they turned out to be.  I couldn't contain my tears seeing him with his Dad, his Mom, then with Her.  It was too much for my heart to take in.  I tried to take pictures through the tears.  They needed these memories on "film."
He took the time to hug me and thank me for everything.  He had me hooked.

The decision to stay together while he did his 4 years in the Corps and she did her 4 years in College was made.  I admired their loyalty and would do what I could to support them.

An early birthday gift to her to fly down and visit him.  I was nervous that she was going alone. Her first solo trip and my nerves were frazzled.  How could that little girl of mine actually get out of New York without me there to help?  Well maybe I did something right because she made it. He was waiting for her.  I could rest that night.

Until the call came.  Mom, guess what just happened?  Honey, you ok?  Mom he proposed marriage! Joy, excitement, tears of happiness, tears of sadness. How did she grow up that quickly before my eyes?

She said yes.  He will now be referred to as T1F. Thing 1's Fiance.

Valentine's Day - 2012

I'm not writing this post just because it's February 14. But it is and that means today is Valentine's Day. 

For me it means I'm somewhere between "Honey don't spend any money buying me roses" and sitting at work wondering why, if I'm not getting flowers, why not a lunch invitation?  Before we start looking at possible reasons for the non-invitation let me just say that Hubs and I work at the same place and said place has a cafeteria.  Lunch would not be an inconvenience based on the logistics.

Maybe I'll have a $7.99 set of flowers from the market when I get home tonite.  In the spirit of being completely honest, I would love to go home, find the $7.99 bouquet, eat a slice of Pizza with Hubs and Thing 2 and go to sleep.  Not bed.  Sleep.

Thing 1 is at college and it's our first Valentine's day being apart.  She was the original person that taught me unconditional love and it's sad to me that she's not here to have a slice of pizza with us.  Her boyfriend is in Florida in the Marines so Thing 1 basically has nobody around her for this "Love" day.  Believe me I'm trying not to dwell on all that sadness.  She does get to fly out on Friday to see BF for a long weekend ~ so all's well that ends well.

Hubs just texted me to tell me he's going to gym.  I guess I'll grab my sandwich (that he made) and stop waiting for a lunch invitation and I'll see him at home later.

Listen, I may be a little nuts, but I'm lucid enough to be thankful for my Dear Hubs even if we never lunch together.  I'm one of the lucky ones this Valentine's Day.

Individual Fruit Pizza for our Just Dessert celebration at work.

Superbowl Sunday 2012

Today is Super Bowl number 46. 


In the spirit of always being honest in this blog, I admit that I actually don't care much about the Super Bowl this year.  Living here in New York that is a blasphemous statement since the New York Giants are playing against the New England Patriots in a rivalry that runs deep.


I am not a New Yorker by birth.  I transplanted myself here almost 9 years ago.
I am a die hard, native San Franciscan. My first football love was the San Francisco 49ers.
It still is and always will be.  I can't seem to root for a NY team with any type of honesty.


I have the 49er "Glory Years" of the 1980s under my belt with 4 Super Bowl wins.  
There was a bonus win in the 90's for a total of 5 Super Bowl wins.
My team hasn't been that good in a very long time. This year was so close.  1 lousy
field goal made by the opposing team in the playoffs and they were out. 


I am very proud of the team and their accomplishments this year.  I loved watching whatever game the East Coast channels would play since most years the games are rarely televised.  I loved whatever scenery they would show us. I believe that most of us who have departed the Bay Area are nostalgic for most things San Francisco, especially scenery.  We love to say "I've been there," or "I know that place."  I loved boasting my San Francisco-ness to anybody who would listen. 


It takes a real football fan to continue loving their team during the rough years of not winning.
This year paid off for me.  Even though my team is not playing in the Super Bowl, this Native San Franciscan is wearing her 49ers sweatshirt with love & pride.  And a bit of nostalgia.